Power – Passion – Purpose
A blog for women navigating relationships, parenting, personal development & mid-life.
You know that feeling… That feeling when something just feels right? I could call this ‘luck’, but I don’t believe that.
We had yelled and been angry at each other for the second time that week. Anger over an old argument that wasn’t going away. He was right. I was right. How does that go away…?
Every milestone our kids achieve is one step closer to them needing us a little less. And of course, we want our children to grow up and be responsible leaders in their own lives. But this also presents a problem when the relationship dynamics change or their choices aren’t what we would want for them.
It’s so hard to let our adult children experience their own failures.
So how do we stop parenting and become just advice-givers when they ask, and not say anything when they don’t? How do we navigate beating ourselves up with the thought that we did something wrong because they’re not succeeding the way we think they should be?
The internal dialogue that tells you what to expect of yourself…. tells you how big to dream…what you can and can’t do…
Reports suggest an unprecedented number of applications for divorce in some areas of China. Unfortunately, once the Covid-19 pandemic ends we may see a relationship pandemic begin… I think we all want happier relationships.
If you want connection and intimacy and great love and a relationship that stands the test of time, you must create that intention. It cannot be the last priority, you cannot blame your partner for the circumstances of the bond you share and you must choose each other.
And here’s the pivot point: You cannot change someone else.
The saddest part is that I tried to be who I thought that ‘they’ wanted me to be. I didn’t know that I could be myself…be all of me. All of my imperfections and awkwardness and awesomeness…that makes me unique.
Authenticity is uncomfortable and difficult to achieve, especially if we’re worried about what everyone else thinks. If we’re worried about judgment it’s never gonna work. …and it’s essential for connection.
People telling me how I should be and how I should act. It’s these little comments or negative responses to the way we are, that change how we feel about ourselves.
Amidst the ‘busy’ and the kids and everything that keeps us running forward, what I experienced was a little voice saying ‘it’s not enough’. It’s kind of like my intuition was trying to tell me something that I’m not sure I was ready or willing to hear.
This feeling of wanting to be a part of something, wanting to be good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, ….this yearning for connection…it defines so much of our lives and who we are. But the part of acceptance that we often miss, is that we first have to accept ourselves.
You feel it… That naggy little tightness in your neck or shoulders…. That heaviness in your chest… The knots in your stomach as your day progresses…
That’s stress….and it’s like poison in your body.